just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
