quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
