Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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