Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
