dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
