When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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