Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
