Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
