Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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