he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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