The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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