I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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