living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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