i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
