New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize