My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
