For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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