Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
a search helicopter?!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
