Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize