just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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