Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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