I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
