There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
