are you so shy because you have an std?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You can't just leave with hair like that
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
