Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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