I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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