Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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