I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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