remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
