I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
In America we eat man semen.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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