This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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