PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize