I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
