I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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