D3 body, D1 cock
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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