Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
