Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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