First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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