very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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