so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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