Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
