I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
