24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
