maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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