READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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