You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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