I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
