she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
