my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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