he was CRYING into my vagina
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
