i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I still have a little drunk in my system
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize