my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He passed out mid-signature
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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