I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
