thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
