I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
