Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
