THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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