Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
